Living on the road full time has proven to be even more drastically different from “real life” than we’d anticipated when we began this adventure almost two years ago. We assert that it’s waaaaaay better (for us), but there definitely have been a whole lot of lessons we’ve gradually been learning along the way. These are all things that we’d never had to consider when our house didn’t move, and it’s funny when we find that our new behaviors are now so deeply ingrained that when visiting friends in their stationary houses, we still anticipate things falling out of cabinets whenever we open them, for example.

I thought I’d list a few of the funnier lessons we’ve learned in the last year and a half.

1. Never trust the flatness of any surface, no matter how level it may look. Everything rolls. Put that egg on the counter without hovering your hand above it for a second first, and you’ve got a cleanup job in between you and breakfast! It’s not a matter of will it roll, it’s what direction, and you better be ready.
2. Always open liquid containers slowly, because you’ve more than likely changed altitude since you last closed it. I mopped up a whole lot of wasted sunscreen, shampoo, and ketchup before learning this lesson. You can’t trust a bottle on the road.
3. You can’t take people’s recommendations for the “best food in town” unless you’re in your home state, or at least a neighboring state. Regional tastes vary so much that Yelp has been rendered useless to us. You just don’t know what the ideal flavor profile is. We’ve gotten tips from locals about where to go for dinner for the “most amazing Mexican food we’ll ever have” only to discover that in that state, sweet marinara-flavored salsa is the standard, among other atrocities.
4. If you see a sign for a free dump station and potable water that’s right on your way, it’s going to be a good day.
5. There are loads of great places to park when boondocking downtown. One of them is not the local newspaper office. At 3:30 a.m. the trucks pull up and idle while metal doors are flung open, and the workers chat loudly while tossing heavy piles of paper into their trucks. This all happens six feet away from your face. Newspaper offices may seem harmless, but they’re hazardous to your sleep.
6. Never assume that the mess you don’t feel like cleaning up right now is your secret. A house tour could happen at any time. We vandwellers just love to check out each other’s setups, and if you meet some fun fulltimers and you slacked on clean-up duty that day, you’d better just come to terms with them being in close quarters with your dirty dishes and sandy dog cushions, because you just can’t forfeit the tour swap!
7. Let yourself wake up enough in the morning to realize where you are before opening the back door and hopping out. Just because your back yard has been the woods for a week doesn’t mean that you won’t step out—in your pajamas and —into the middle of some town’s morning commute.
8. We also just recently learned that we are Napa Blue. You really do learn something new every day!